I found this book on target, succinct, and immediately actionable.
The primary questions to ask when coaching:
- What’s on your mind? (Intentionally open-ended)
- And what else? (Keeps the mentee thinking about influencing factors past the initial description)
- What’s the real challenge here for you? (Avoid mentor bias)
- What do you want? (Focus on the mentee’s goals)
- How can I help? (Also avoids mentor bias)
- What was most useful to you? (Reflection helps learning and retention)
On saying Yes
- If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
- A yes is nothing without the No that gives it boundaries and form.
- Say yes slowly in order to be curious before committing.
Fascinating quotes from the book
- What people think of as the moment of discovery is really the discovery of the question - Jonas Salk
- The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
- Plans are useless, but planning is indispensable - Eisenhower
Buy the book and read it. These are great notes but they don't do it justice.